Jill is exploring that journey tomorrow when she hosts a live broadcast profiling the Polynesians of the Hunter.
Siufaleovalu Papai Heilala Langi is a young woman who deals with these conflicts daily.
While she was born in Australia, and lives in Tarro, Siu still calls Tonga home.
Jill caught up with Siu at the Free Church of Tonga, a timber building hidden behind the Hexham bowling club.
Turning 21 is a big deal for Tongans, many of the milestones young Australians pass years earlier are held off until that age.
"It does get frustrating some times, there's a clash of cultures," she said.
"We can't have a boyfriend until we're 21. We can't go out and drink ... my family's strict like that."
"Apparently it's not until you're 21 you know what's good for you, so when I go out into the world I'll know what decisions to make."
While she's yet to turn the magic age, Siu has already completed her Bachelor of Social Science at the University of Newcastle, and has begun her Masters degree.
Many young Tongan girls don't go on to higher education.
Siu hopes to go back to Tonga to do youth work, even though she will earn less than she would in Australia.
"I've always wanted to work with Pacific Islander kids, and then I'll come back here and tell kids how to live a hybrid life with our different cultures."
Find out more about the Hunter Polynesian community from 8.30am tomorrow morning with Jill Emberson.
Jill has a special interest in the region, on her father's side she is a descendent of the Lavulo family of Tonga.
Jill also lived and worked in the South Pacific and her ABC Radio National documentary The Ties that Bind: Stories of the Tongan Diaspora was short listed for a UNAA Media Peace Prize.
Listen tomorrow on 1233AM, online at abc.net.au/Newcastle or through the ABC Radio App available on iPhone and Android.
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