All rules of etiquette dictate that when invited to someone’s home, it is appropriate to bring the host a small token of appreciation. However, in wine country, this tradition creates a big dilemma because the usual gift is a bottle of wine. Is it proper to bring a bottle of wine to someone who owns a winery or has a wine cellar bigger than a BevMo store? Great minds have considered this question. And the answer is YES! But there are alternatives.
At a recent dinner party all the guests arrived with a gift. Each one proclaimed upon arrival that, “bringing a bottle of wine to someone in wine country was like bringing coals to Newcastle.” So the guests brought flowers and candy and a few other small things that may someday end up in a yard sale.
The comments and the gifts made me wonder what exactly is going on in Newcastle.
I have never been to Newcastle and have never quite understood that metaphor so I investigated.
The general agreement from all web sources is that “Bringing coals to Newcastle is to do something pointless and superfluous.” I, for one, don’t think receiving, giving or drinking wine is either pointless or superfluous. Just because there is a lot of coal in Newcastle doesn’t mean people wouldn’t like a little more. The same holds true for wine in wine country.
Since wine may be off the table as a hostess gift, there are many other possibilities I can add to the list. Here is a sampling of ideas for that next dinner party that will make your host and hostess happy: (Well, at least the host).
• Gopher traps: As much as I try to keep track, those traps continue to disappear. Most have never come close to a gopher.
• Work gloves: In case I ever do catch a gopher, I probably would use gloves to get it out of the trap. While I wait for that event, I can use the gloves for raking.
• Cans of WD40: Someone must be stealing the cans I buy. I keep buying them but I can never find one.
• Light bulbs: The same guy who is stealing the WD40 must be stealing the light bulbs. A variety would be fine, just no fluorescent.
• Wasp killer spray: The wasps are back and we need help in that part of the animal kingdom. It will be a really special gift if, as the guest, you also offer to apply it to that new wasp nest under the eaves.
• Double A batteries: I thought I bought several hundred of these but now I can’t find any. I will help hold the ladder as we go after those smoke alarms that are beeping because the batteries are low.
• Round Up — We are mostly organic but Round Up to the yard is like masking tape to the rest of the house.
• Band Aids — Any kind will do — Flintstones, Sponge Bob, or just plain. We have first aid kits all over but the Band-Aids are long gone in all of them. Comments about rattlesnake bites are not welcome with the Band-Aids.
• Wine-related paraphernalia — Antique corkscrews, wine presses or French posters all fit nicely into this category. No empty barrels.
Some of these gifts may be a little awkward to present during the exchange of greetings, so just leave them in the yard until later. But don’t worry, it is better to say, “I brought you something you could use” rather than the “coals to Newcastle” comment. Forget the snow and Eskimo comments too.
Of course, if none of my suggestions work, any guest is always free to bring a magnum of cabernet or something similar. White zinfandel doesn’t count.
(Rich Moran splits his time between the City and Wine Country looking forward to receiving host gifts.)
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