Giving marks out of 10 can be a hazardous occupation but, as Mark Smith finds out, every now and again the rewards can be seen
Most journalists hate writing them, most readers love reading them and most sportsmen claim they pay them no attention whatsoever. We are talking, of course, about player ratings.
A perennial cause of angst for those of us who wield a pen for a living, I was last week given a rare crumb of comfort when the results of the Ken Lockerbie Award were forwarded in my direction.
Named after the long-time Gosforth club man and respected former referee, the trophy is presented to the Newcastle Falcons player who averages the highest Chronicle rating over the club’s regular season.
Cumbrian flanker Mark Wilson topped the spreadsheet with 7.13, a whole 0.02 higher than Scottish lock-forward Scott MacLeod and 0.12 more than back-row team-mate Ally Hogg.
It was a fair outcome from a season in which all three have been at the forefront, and a welcome aside from the week-to-week ratings minefield on which everyone seemingly has an opinion.
Who could forget, for example, Newcastle United winger Laurent Robert seeking out Alan Oliver in the under-belly of St James’ Park, seemingly intent on lamping the then-Chronicle scribe for a three out of 10.
I remember Colin Charvis tapping former Scotland hooker Duncan Madsen on the shoulder in Brive, demanding a similar explanation about a Falcons write-up.
Five pints of Guinness later in a dark corner of the team hotel and the pair were best buds – Madsen never shy in justifying his analysis. In fact, I’m sure I even saw them scrummaging against each other in the car park at 2am!
Sometimes it is not even the humble journo behind the controversy, as my predecessor Nick Purewal will testify.
Receiving a phone call from then-Falcons director of rugby John Fletcher at 8am on a Sunday, our scribe was woken to be told Jonny Wilkinson was apoplectic at being awarded nought out of 10 for what seemed a reasonable enough performance at London Wasps the day before.
Unbeknown to our man, the zero was the result of a computer gremlin – Fletcher’s mischievous sense of humour pouncing on an opportunity to wind up the writer of an article which had never even passed under Wilkinson’s gaze.
Wilson’s award this year, at least, makes up for a lot of the hassle.
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